Heart, Soul and Hope: Early Gotcha Day Ramblings

The above picture is of Kacie and Lydia. Lydia's family and Ryan and I left KC together and flew home together to get our girls. The girls left Korea and entered America, together. How important is this connection? VERY. Right now, Gotcha Days are a big, anticipated event for my kids. We celebrate, and yes, there are presents but always, in the far corner of my mind, I am reminded that their "Gotcha Days" are also a "Lost Ya" day. Never for one minute do I think my kids are the lucky ones to have been adopted and brought here to America. I have been to Korea three times and the country is beautiful. It is a huge loss. On my kids' GD's, they left behind their birth country. The also left behind their native language. The loss of language still stabs my heart, I just wish they could hold on to it but of course they didn't. They also left behind birth relatives. True, they were no who could raise them at the time but that does not mean that these birth relatives are not real. They exist and there is loss involved.

On my kids' Gotcha Days, as they get older, I realize they may start to have mixed feelings about them, maybe even because of some of the reasons I posted above. That's okay, that's how I feel right now. Ultimately, Gotcha Days remind me of how incredibly lucky Ryan and I have been. We are so rich and blessed. Even though they left behind so much, they have brought with them an invitation to dive into the richest cultures I know and it is a huge honor just to be a part of it. While we don't understand everything that it means to be Korean, we make it a priority to keep our kids connected with other adoptees and Korean Americans. There is nothing more important in my mind and my kids are proud that they are Korean. So, back to the connection I first mentioned in the beginning...even though Kacie and Lydia were too young to "know" each other when they left Korea together, my hope is that they will one day find comfort in knowing that the two of them, left their country and entered America in the exact same way on the very same day. I can't think of a better way to celebrate GD than with the two girls together again.