Last night, for the very first time ever, I heard, "Mama?, Mama?" on the monitor...my heart raced as I raced down to Avah's room to find her on her way out of bed.  This is the very first time she has ever done both of these things, calling for me in the middle of the night (she is the best sleeper ever) and getting out of bed.  I quickly picked her up and tried to lay her back down in her bed and she clung to me.  So, I lay down next to her and she resumes the old, familiar position of laying directly on top of me.  This is the way she shows me she's uncomfortable or sad.  It is the way she basically lived the first month or two every single night when she first came home.  It was the only way she felt safe and here, last night, she was doing it again.  My mind quickly tried to find a reason...

I always feel taken aback when Avah climbs on top of me.  I am reminded of the first night we had her, in he hotel room.  The day she lost everything and she clung to me like a frail, baby koala.  Those days are mostly gone.  She is doing better now.  It has taken a long, long time to reestablish trust in this little girl.  I remember when she first came home and I took her to see Ryan at his work...I remember how painful it was to hear the receptionist comment as we came off the elevator to Ryan's eager arms how Avah ran right past him, not even looking at him.  "She ran right past you" the receptionist told Ryan.  It was as if she didn't know him.  Truth was, she didn't.  She had no idea that he was her Daddy.  She knows it now.  She trusts her Daddy with all heart.  She is the first to respond when Daddy comes home and she cooks way more pretend food for Daddy then she does for anyone else:)  She sits with him the most in the evenings and she still loves it when he talks Spanish to her!  He still calls her "Huevos" and she just beams.  There were days that she would become terrified at the thought of me leaving her with Daddy but these days, she takes it in stride without an ounce of fear.  She loves staying with Daddy and easily tells me bye with  no panic in her eyes.  There are times she teases him at bedtime, he always asks her for a hug and occasionally she will deny him, with a sly smile and she will run to her room...only to come out seconds later, full speed running into his arms!  She has turned into a complete Daddy's Girl.

So, as I am laying in bed last night I really wonder how am I going get Avah off of me, so that eventually I will make it back to my bed.  I begin to think about Kacie, Avah's beloved, "CeCe".  Kacie loves that Avah calls her CeCe.  So do I.  It is absolutely precious and it melts my heart each time.  Kacie loves her "Little Huevoses" as she calls Avah:).  She is always telling me about the cute things Avah says or does.  She is so proud of her.  Kacie takes her role as a big sister very seriously.  Every Saturday and Sunday morning, she feeds Avah breakfast and gets her a drink so that I can sleep in a little bit. She takes her downstairs to play.  She is beyond wonderful.  At nights, she reads to Avah in bed.  Avah listens to her intently and does not mind if Kacie doesn't read the book just right.  She just loves her CeCe.